Successful Parenting with Positive Discipline
As a Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator, I’m excited to teach you how to be a happy, positive parent, and raise capable, successful kids of strong character. The Positive Discipline parenting method has transformed my parenting, and it can do the same for yours.
Positive Discipline Foundation
From the Positive Discipline method by Dr. Jane Nelsen
Before I go into the “how” of Positive Discipline, it’s very important to understand these principles. This will help you to have the mindset of a Positive Discipline Parent. Using the how-to tools without this mindset will not be as effective.
have a vision of
your child's future
Envision your child's future and potential. What kind of person do you hope your child becomes? When challenges come up, remember that those challenges can help your child reach their potential. Stay positive and focused on the vision you have of your child's future.
Click here for more info and free printables.
Unconditional
Love & Respect
There is unconditional love and respect between you and your child.There are limits, but your child is given choices within those limits. You and your child are on the same team.
belonging & significance
Belonging and significance are the primary goals of a child's behavior. You help your child achieve these goals by giving positive attention and positive power. Special one-on-one time and giving lots of choices are so important.
encourage connections
Both the parent and child can be their best selves by strengthening connections in their own mind, and strengthening connections in their relationships with acceptance and effective communication.
focus on solutions
The focus is on finding solutions together by first figuring out the root cause of the misbehavior. The focus is not on punishments or consequences.
Parenting is Individual
You have been blessed with a special, one-of-a-kind child. Understanding your child's unique personality and needs, you need to follow what you feel in your heart is right for your child.
mistakes are wonderful learning opportunities
There are no perfect parents and no perfect kids. When one of us makes a mistake, we follow the 3 R's: Recognize our mistake, Reconcile, and Resolve to work on a solution together. Thankfully our kids are quick to forgive!
social & life skills
We teach our kids important social and life skills to develop good character. These skills can be learned by overcoming challenges and holding successful family meetings.
no more...
Yelling
Nagging
Punishments
Pampering
Permissiveness
Punitive Time-outs
Positive Discipline Tools
Now that you understand the basic principles of Positive Discipline, I hope you’re excited to learn how to implement those principles with your own kids. Here I will cover some of my favorite Positive Discipline tools.
pay attention
Body language can actually be more powerful than the words we say. Do you stop what you're doing and look at your child in the eyes when you talk or listen? Does your child feel accepted and loved by the way you act and talk towards them?
curiosity questions
Telling or ordering your child to do something can ignite your child's primitive brain, with the instinct of fight, flight, or freeze. As much as possible, instead of telling, ask questions to guide your child, or give suggestions.
Instead of saying, "Do your homework," try this: "What's your plan for getting your homework done?"
connection before correction
Physical touch can help you connect with your child. Next time your child is starting to lose their calm, try giving them a hug.
Once your child is calm, you can follow Dr. Nelsen's Four Steps for Winning Cooperation (Positive Discipline p. 29).
routine charts
Making routine charts with your child will help cut down on the need to tell your child what to do.
You can make routine charts for the morning, after school, and bedtime. If your child forgets what they're supposed to do, just ask, "What's next on your routine chart?" (Positive Discipline Workbook p. 12)
Take a look at my tips and free printable routine charts.
special time
Schedule special time with your child every day, even if it's just for ten minutes. Make this time sacred. Let your child choose what activity you do. Even my teens treasure this special time with me!
Here are some fun activities I do with my kids for our "together time": ride bikes, play Scrabble, play Minecraft, read, paint.
Build a feeling-Words Vocabulary
When our kids learn how to use feeling words, they can better understand their emotions and therefore manage them. We need to teach them that it's ok to have big feelings.
We can model this for them throughout the day: "I feel hungry!" or "I'm feeling frustrated right now, so I'm going to take a little break."
Feel free to print out my "I feel...Chart" so you can help your child become aware of and accept their feelings. Also read my story to see how effective and simple this tool can be in your parenting.